Addiction is a Family Disease – 10 Ways Substance Use Disorder Affects Families

Addiction doesn’t happen in isolation—it sends shockwaves through entire families, leaving emotional, financial, and relational turmoil in its wake, showing just how addiction affects families on every level.

Why is Addiction a Family Disease?

Addiction is called a family disease because it affects not just the person using substances, but everyone close to them. It disrupts family routines, damages relationships, and creates emotional and financial strain, making recovery a challenge for the whole family, not just the individual.

This article explains why addiction is called a family disease, how addiction in the family impacts each household member, and why true recovery must involve the whole family.

Here’s what this article contains:

• 10 Signs That Substance Abuse Affects the Entire Family
• What Are the 7 Family Roles in Addiction?
• How Parental Addiction Impacts Children
• The Importance of Family-Based Addiction Treatment

10 Signs That Substance Abuse Affects the Entire Family

When someone has a substance use disorder, it doesn’t just affect them but their entire social network. Listed below are signs of how addiction affects the community surrounding the person with SUD. If you recognize any of these signs in your family, contact Project Courage for more information about compassionate substance abuse recovery.

1. Increased conflict and arguments
2. Financial strain due to substance-related expenses
3. Isolation from relatives and friends
4. Shifts in family roles to accommodate the addict
5. Emotional distress among friends and family members
6. Neglect of family responsibilities
7. Secrecy and lies becoming commonplace
8. Deterioration of trust between siblings, parents, and children
9. Changes in children’s behavior or performance at school
10. Increased health problems among family members

1. Increased conflict and arguments

Substance abuse disorders can cause significant emotional and relational strife within families. These situations often force family members into difficult positions where they may feel torn or conflicted. The impact varies depending on who in the family is struggling with the disorder, and how others choose to respond. Consider the following scenarios:

When an adult child has a substance abuse disorder:

• Parents may feel a strong sense of guilt or responsibility.
• It’s common for one parent to begin enabling the child’s behavior—offering money, making excuses, or shielding them from consequences.
• Meanwhile, the other parent might feel frustrated or betrayed, leading to secrecy or blame between spouses.
• Over time, this can create deep divisions and erode trust in the marriage.

When a parent or sibling is struggling:

• Other family members may not agree on how to handle the situation.
• One sibling might advocate for tough love, while another pushes for continued support or treatment options.
• These disagreements can lead to resentment, distancing, and fractured relationships within the family.

Ultimately, substance abuse doesn’t just affect one individual, it ripples through the entire family system. Research shows that these disorders often disrupt communication, roles, routines, and emotional bonds across the family.

Using open communication and seeking professional guidance can help families navigate these challenges more constructively.

2. Financial strain due to substance-related expenses

When a loved one is abusing substances, the drug and alcohol abuse effects on family finances can be overwhelming. These can range from moderate expenses, like the occasional loan, to extreme expenses, like raising the addicted person’s child. Other contributors to financial strain include:

• If the person is stealing money to fund their habit
• The cost of sending the loved one to programs to get them sober
• Family members may need to take time off work to care for, support, or search for their loved one
• If the person with a SUD can’t maintain employment, parents or siblings may shoulder the cost of feeding and housing them
• The cost of substance-related medical care

Financial strain can lead to greater stress, arguments, lying and keeping secrets, distrust, and risk of health problems.

3. Isolation from relatives and friends

Although addiction is often described as a family disease, its most intense effects are usually felt by those closest to the individual—namely siblings, parents, and children. Distant relatives, such as aunts, uncles, and cousins, may not witness the day-to-day impact and therefore struggle to grasp the seriousness of the situation.

This disconnect can lead to several challenges:

• Uninformed opinions: Distant family members might offer unsolicited advice or make offhanded comments, not realizing how harmful or dismissive they sound.
• Misplaced blame: Without understanding the full picture, they may judge the immediate family’s choices, adding to the emotional burden.
• Social withdrawal: As a result, close family members might begin to isolate themselves—not only from extended relatives but also from friends and even grandparents—feeling that no one truly understands their pain or perspective.

When family members feel judged instead of supported, it only deepens the emotional toll of addiction. Building awareness around how addiction impacts close relationships is critical to fostering empathy and healing. For more insights into the genetic and emotional aspects of family addiction, this article on familial patterns in alcohol addiction offers helpful context.

4. Shifts in family roles to accommodate the addict

While every situation and household is different, there are common family roles in addiction that people often find themselves falling into. These roles are a reaction to the addict, either to enable them, dismiss them, or protect themselves. Filling these roles often leads to dishonesty and lack of trust as parents and siblings attempt to navigate the bombshell that is substance use.

These roles are often invisible to the people inside those roles. It usually takes an outside perspective to help untangle the thoughts, feelings, and habits that had evolved in response to a loved one’s substance use. If you or a loved one struggles with drugs or alcohol, give Project Courage a call for a confidential consultation.

5. Emotional distress among friends and family members

The emotional toll that addiction takes on parents, siblings, and children is well-documented. It is extremely distressing to watch your loved one go through the throws of substance abuse. You may feel powerless to help as they went through:

• Withdrawal symptoms
• Struggled to stay sober
• Relapsing
• Lost their job or housing
• Lied to you
• Stole from you to buy drugs or alcohol
• Experienced health problems
• Threw their life away over drugs or alcohol
• Lashed out at you for trying to help

Every situation is different when it comes to substance use, but addiction often transforms loved ones into someone their family doesn’t recognize. It hurts to see your parents, siblings, or children suffer, especially when you don’t know how to get through to them to convince them to get and stay sober.

6. Neglect of family responsibilities

When someone you love is struggling with a substance use disorder, it’s normal for everyone in the family to react in different, and often intense, ways. These emotional and behavioral shifts reinforce the idea that addiction is a family disease. The impact isn’t limited to the person with the addiction; it spreads to every relationship around them.

Here’s how that often plays out within the family:

• Enabling behaviors: A parent may begin to enable the addicted loved one by failing to enforce boundaries, covering for them, or constantly rescuing them from consequences.
• Emotional exhaustion: This enabler often becomes the addict’s emotional lifeline, pouring all their time and energy into supporting them. As a result, they may have nothing left to give to the rest of the family.
• Neglect of other children: Siblings of the person with the disorder may feel overlooked, as the parent becomes consumed by the crisis.
• Strained sibling dynamics: Resentment builds. The neglected siblings may grow angry at the addicted family member, pull away from one another, and disconnect from the rest of the family.

Over time, these patterns can deeply erode the trust and closeness that once existed. Understanding that addiction is a family disease is the first step toward healing—not just for the person in recovery, but for the entire family unit.

When familial relationships are neglected, people drift apart. If a relationship becomes estranged, repairing the rift and returning to a loving place can be very difficult.

7. Secrecy and lies becoming commonplace

Substance use disorders come with a lot of stigma, which can manifest as shame for the addict and their relatives or difficulty asking for support. Because of this stigma, a family can fall into a pattern of secrecy and lies. People with a SUD may lie to their loved ones to cover up their substance abuse. Their parents or siblings may lie to each other to enable the addict, to keep the peace, or to hide their distress. A household may also lie to distant relatives to maintain the illusion that everything is okay.

8. Deterioration of trust between siblings, parents, and children

The first sign that addiction is a family disease is the deterioration of trust. This can occur in 3 different ways:

Loss of trust in the person who abuses drugs or alcohol

Addiction doesn’t just affect behavior—it fundamentally changes the brain. Since drugs and alcohol distort normal brain function, they can lead to a wide range of emotional and psychological effects, including:

• Impulsivity and poor decision-making
• Memory loss and difficulty focusing
• Paranoia, anxiety, and intense mood swings
• Depression and emotional numbness

When a person’s brain has been hijacked by substances, their behavior often shifts dramatically. They may:

• Lie to cover up their actions
• Manipulate or guilt loved ones
• Lash out emotionally or become verbally aggressive

These actions can deeply damage trust within relationships. Over time, friends and family may find it difficult to believe anything the person says, even when they’re trying to be honest.

For more on how addiction affects the brain and behavior, visit this overview of the neurological effects of drug addiction.

Diminishing trust between household members

When a loved one struggles with addiction, everyone around them feels the effects—not just the individual, but parents, siblings, and children as well. Addiction is a family disease, and family members often unconsciously slip into specific roles to cope with the crisis:

• The Enabler – Often a parent or spouse who shields the addicted person from consequences, unintentionally sustaining the addiction.
• The Hero – Usually a high-achieving child who tries to deflect attention from the family’s pain by excelling academically or socially.
• The Scapegoat – A family member labeled as “the problem”; they draw blame and attention, often acting out in rebellion.
• The Lost Child – The quiet one who withdraws altogether, avoiding connection and often feeling invisible.
• The Mascot – Uses humor to diffuse tension, masking their own pain in the process.

These roles may initially seem helpful, but over time, they encourage secrecy, emotional distance, and erosion of trust—especially between siblings and parents. Families often become stuck in these patterns, which can prevent open communication and healing.

Understanding these dynamics is a vital first step. Families that learn to identify and shift these roles can begin to heal together. For a deeper look into how these roles manifest in families affected by addiction, check out this helpful guide on family roles in addiction. Additionally, organizations like SAMHSA offer evidence-based family therapy protocols to guide families toward healthier communication and recovery.

A child loses their ability to trust

When children of any age have a parent who abuses drugs or alcohol, their ability to form healthy relationships can be severely impacted. The environment created by substance abuse often disrupts the natural development of emotional bonds and trust.

• Teenagers with addicted parents may become hyper-independent, choosing to rely only on themselves. This behavior is often a defense mechanism, as they avoid dependence on others who might not be reliable or supportive. As a result, they may push away potential friends or family members who could offer support.
• As these children grow into adults, they carry the scars of their childhood into their relationships. They may struggle to trust others or have difficulty forming deep, meaningful connections. This is because they never saw trust modeled at home, where instability and broken promises were more common.

This lack of trust can extend into all areas of their lives—romantic relationships, friendships, and even work dynamics. For further insight into how parental addiction impacts emotional development and relationships, check out this study on family systems and addiction from NCBI.

9. Changes in children’s behavior or performance at school

When a parent or sibling struggles with addiction, it has an adverse impact on a child’s physical health, mental wellbeing, and their academic performance. Barriers to a child’s success often look like:

• Kids coming to school with no school supplies because the money was spent on drugs or alcohol
• Young children may mimic the dysfunctional behavior in their home, which causes them to get in trouble at school and be alienated from their peers
• Living in a household with an addict is very stressful, so children in that situation may perpetually be in fight or flight mode, making them unable to relax and learn
• Depending on the severity of the situation, a child’s basic needs may not be getting met
• A parent may be unable to academically support their child by helping them with homework, advocating for them academically, and going to parent-teacher conferences

10. Increased health problems among family members

It is well-documented how stress can contribute to health problems like obesity, insomnia, heart disease, elevated risk of cancer, and immune system problems. Dealing with a loved one who abuses substances creates chronic stress—a prime example of the impact of addiction on family health.

Substance abuse doesn’t only impact the person struggling with the disorder. Because addiction is a family disease, it impacts everyone the addict knows and loves. This is why Project Courage specializes in community-centered recovery and healing. Contact us today for more information about programs and intake options.

What Are the 7 Family Roles in Addiction?

As mentioned above, there are certain roles that members of a household often fall into when faced with substance abuse.

1. The Addict

Whether they are a parent, child, or sibling, they are the source of conflict because their disease drives them to lie, steal, cheat, use, insult, and disappear from their loved ones.

2. The Caretaker

This person is often the parent of the addicted person, most commonly their mother or grandmother. Caretakers put all their energy into maintaining a peaceful home at the expense of their health and well-being.

3. The Hero

Most of the time, the hero is the eldest child. The hero will try to appear perfect in all areas and attain high levels of success that they believe will make their home life okay. This eventually causes burnout and resentment.

4. The Scapegoat

This is the person who gets blamed for the problems that are caused by addiction. The scapegoat is often the overlooked child; they can be the middle or the youngest child. The constant blame will lead them to withdraw from their parents and siblings.

5. The Mascot

Out of a set of siblings, the youngest child, who was doted on by the parents over their older siblings, is more likely to become the mascot. They will use humor to keep everyone happy so that no one gets upset or argues.

6. The Lost Child

This person is overlooked and withdrawn from the rest of the family. They are uninvolved in the household dynamic and receive very little attention. While the lost child can be anyone in a set of siblings, this role is most commonly embodied by step and half-siblings, oldest children with a large age gap between them and their siblings, and middle children.

7. The Enabler

While they mean well, their inability to create boundaries with the addict will drive everyone into greater dysfunction. Enablers will support the addicted person, lie for them, and make excuses. In a household, enablers are often older than the addict, like a mother, father, older sibling, or grandparent.

How Parental Addiction Impacts Children

When a parent struggles with substance use, it affects every part of a child’s life. Kids growing up in these homes often feel unsafe, confused, and alone. 

The daily stress of living with a parent who abuses drugs or alcohol can lead to fear, anxiety, and sadness. 

Many children blame themselves for the addiction and may withdraw from friends, teachers, and other family members.

At school, children may have trouble focusing, fall behind academically, or act out in class. Teachers might notice changes in behavior, like aggression, anxiety, or social withdrawal. 

At home, children sometimes take on adult responsibilities far too early—caring for siblings, handling household chores, or trying to keep the peace in a chaotic environment.

Children of parents with substance use disorders often face:

• Emotional distress and difficulty trusting others
• Disruption in their schooling and friendships
• Neglect of basic needs and safety
• Higher risk of developing substance use issues themselves

Parental addiction doesn’t just harm the person using substances—it shapes the entire family dynamic. Without help, the impact can last into adulthood. 

However, with the right support and treatment, children can heal and break the cycle of addiction in their families.

The Importance of Family-Based Addiction Treatment

Since addiction is a family disease, the entire household must be involved in the recovery process for it to be truly successful. The addict’s behavior doesn’t happen in isolation; dysfunction within the home environment can create the seeds of addiction, perpetuate harmful behaviors, and be further complicated by the roles that parents and siblings take on. These dynamics often contribute to the cycle of addiction, making it even more difficult for the individual to break free.

• Dysfunctional family roles such as enabling, scapegoating, or emotional withdrawal can trap both the addicted person and their loved ones in unhealthy patterns.
• It’s incredibly challenging for someone with a substance use disorder to get sober when they are surrounded by the same people and situations that contributed to their addiction in the first place.

For recovery to be effective, the dysfunctional behaviors and cycles must be identified and stopped. Only then can the healing process begin for everyone involved. Families must work together to create a supportive and nurturing environment where recovery can thrive. If you’re looking for resources to help guide families through addiction treatment and recovery, explore Project Courage Works’ addiction treatment services or consider enrolling in their Intensive Outpatient Programs.

FAQs

Compassionate Substance Abuse Recovery in Connecticut

Addiction reaches far beyond the individual; families and addiction are inseparably linked, touching parents, siblings, children, and the entire fabric of family life. From emotional turmoil and financial strain to shifting family roles and lasting impacts on children, the evidence is clear: addiction truly is a family disease.

Understanding these dynamics is the first step toward breaking the cycle and helping families heal. Recovery is not just about the person with the substance use disorder—it’s about restoring trust, rebuilding connections, and creating a healthier environment for everyone involved.

If your family is affected by addiction, know that help is available. By seeking support and treatment that includes the whole family, lasting recovery and healing are possible. Don’t wait to take the next step toward a healthier future, if you or a loved one is struggling with substance abuse contact Project Courage.